


Promises in the Dark

by reveetoile



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:07:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25841101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reveetoile/pseuds/reveetoile
Summary: Nino has to leave, and Ohno is scared of losing him.
Relationships: Ninomiya Kazunari/Ohno Satoshi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Promises in the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this story in 2010 and decided to share it.

It was late, or truthfully it was just really early. In fact, it was too early even for them. Their first recordings wouldn't start for a few more hours, and Ohno knew he should try to catch some sleep. But Ohno just couldn't.

Nino was lying beside him, and Ohno loved to watch him. Nino was cute in his sleep. There wasn't any snark or grin. He seemed small and fragile. Everything he wasn't when he was awake. Ohno loved to watch him sleep. He loved his silent sighs and his even breath, his warm body right next to him. He loved that Nino let his guard down. And he loved to think that only he is allowed to watch the peaceful sleeping form beside him.

And truthfully, he knew that he was the only one. He heard it in the complaints from the others that Nino was awake too long and that he was too loud when they shared a room. And he saw it. He saw it in the small eyes in the morning, in the sluggish form of Nino. Nino could sleep alone. He didn't like it, but he could manage. But with others...

That's where he was terrible. He was restless, and he just couldn't let go entirely. Nino knew that the other members wouldn't do a thing, but he couldn't let go. It's only with Ohno that he could rest fully and Ohno loved this fact. It showed him how much Nino trusted him and how much he loved him.

He was startled out of his thoughts as Nino murmured something. He smiled as he saw that Nino was deep asleep and laughed a little. Ohno stroked his cheek softly and settled down himself. He loved to watch Nino, but he loved it even more to sleep with the skinnier man and cuddled with him. Ohno closed his eyes and let sleep overtake him. He knew that it wouldn't be long till Nino would leave them, and he didn't know if he would come back and when that would be. He would follow him if he could, but it wasn't his path. It wasn't their path, and Ohno knew this.

##

It was a few days later when they had time to see each other again at night. The days between were filled with recordings, interviews and more filmings. Work as it was normal for them and they didn't meet outside of work. Ohno hated it. He missed his friend even if he could see him daily. How should he survive when the other wasn't even there?

He sighed and looked at the pale man standing in front of his kitchen door. He would miss him. Nino looked at him, and there was a slightly confused expression on his face. Nino didn't know what his sighs meant and what he was thinking.

Ohno smiled a little and hoped that Nino wouldn't ask, that he would let it drop and he was happy to realize that Nino did. He returned Ohno's smile and walked forward.

"Let's eat." Ohno just nodded and took his hand while Nino pulls him in their kitchen.

Will it be his in just a few days? Ohno just didn't know anymore. He felt lost and scared, and he thought that it wasn't fair. It shouldn't be him. Nino should think like him, but he seemed to be relaxed, and Ohno didn't know what to think.

He sat down and looked at Nino. "Don't go... Just... do you have to?" he asked. And his voice sounded so small in his ears. It's not like his voice, and for a moment he was sure that it wasn't him who said that. But he knew it; he felt his mouth move, his breath leaving him and his vocal cords working.

Nino looked up and met his eyes. Ohno saw the look in them, saw how they wavered slightly and he regretted to have said something.

"I... you..." Nino began and choked on nothing but air. Coughs were leaving his mouth, and Ohno was up in an instant. He rubbed his back and waited until the coughs subsided.

"I shouldn't talk while drinking", he joked, and Ohno cracked a little smile before he sat down again.

"Let's eat Kazu." The younger man smiled and nodded thankfully, and they both let the topic drop. Both not wanting to speak about it any more. Not now and preferably not ever.

##

It was only a few days later. Tomorrow Nino would leave him and today would be the last evening he could sleep beside his boyfriend. And Ohno made plans for this evening. He thought about cuddling on the sofa and in the bed. Kissing and watching Nino so that everything about the younger one would be imprinted in his mind.

So Ohno just couldn't understand why he was outside. It was dark and cold, and he wished to be in bed. But it seemed as if Nino had some other things in mind. That's the only answer he got when he asked Nino why they were outside.

"Kazu, let's go back… Why are we here? It's cold", he whined and tugged at his wrist. A little hiss was all he got as an answer. Ohno sighed and let himself drag away. He didn't know where they were going, and he started to feel impatient. He hated not knowing where they were going.

"Close your eyes." Ohno was brought out of his thoughts and looked a little bit confused at the other man. But Nino just smiled and waited for him to follow his wish. Ohno blinked a little before he smiled and nodded.

"Okay…"

Ohno closed his eyes and felt Nino's short fingers on his hand. Slowly he grasped the small hand of his friend and gave it a little squeeze to show it was okay.

"Don't look, Oh-chan, promise me."

"I won't look", he said, and he heard the little chuckle from Nino which indicated that he was happy with his answer. Ohno felt the tug of Nino and stumbled a bit before he could follow him steadier. It was hard not to open his eyes, the longer they went.

Ohno didn't realize at first when Nino did stop, so he crashed a little into the smaller man and held him tightly, so they didn't stumble over.

Nino shrieked and spun around. "Everything alright?", he asked, and Ohno nodded unsurely.

"I think so. Can I open my eyes?" Miraculously he was able to hold them close as he collided with Nino.

The younger was silent for a moment before he shook his head. Ohno could feel it because they were so close.

"Not yet… First, you have to sit down." Ohno frowned a little and began to sit down, slowly and unstable. He listened to Nino's chuckles and felt as he held him more tightly and helped him down.

"Not yet… not yet", the other whispered and Ohno couldn't hold back a chuckle. He could just imagine the focused frown on Nino's face. He wanted this to be perfect. Ohno just wasn't sure what this 'it' was.

He felt Nino shuffle a little beside him and holding his hand a little more tightly. Now he felt how nervous Nino was. It was hard not to open his eyes and take him into his arms. He wanted to protect him. But he knew he couldn't, not this time.

"Tomorrow I will leave."

Ohno was startled once more when he heard the younger one. He tried to open his eyes, but Nino's hand was there, and he heard a little noise.

"I haven't allowed to open them just now." Ohno protested, but then he deflated.

"Okay…"

Nino's hands left his face slowly and stroke his cheek. "Thank you."

"As I said: I will leave tomorrow to film, and I don't know when and if I will come back." Ohno held back his tears. He didn't want to hear this, but he knew it was true. Nino didn't go to America to just film he would get treatment there. But nobody, not Nino and not management, wanted to tell the public that he was ill. They didn't even tell the others, only Ohno knew. And that was because he lived with Nino. The other just couldn't hide it anymore after some time.

"But… I don't want you to tell the others. And I don't want you to be sad", he said, and this time when Ohno opened his eyes, Nino didn't hinder him.

Ohno looked in the eyes of his boyfriend and saw the fright in them and the sadness. Ohno felt the tears he tried to hold so hard hot on his cheeks and Nino's small cold fingers which wiped them softly.

"It's not as easy as you make it sound. I will miss you, and I'm scared of you leaving, of you leaving me behind. I hate that you have to go and get that..."

"I won't. I won't leave you Oh-chan. I can't." Nino stopped him from saying more with a finger on his lips.

Ohno sobbed at that and shook his head. He couldn't believe him. It was just too cruel. He didn't want to lose the younger man. He loved him too much.

"Shh… Don't cry."

Ohno listened to his words and let himself fall. It was hard to pretend to know nothing. To be alright, when everything just seemed so wrong. He trusted Nino with all his heart. He just couldn't bring himself to trust him with this.

"Ne, ne Oh-chan", Nino called with a lighter voice. He didn't want to see his lover cry. Not today, not ever. He was selfish like that.

"Look, look, aren't the stars beautiful today?", he asked, and Ohno had to look up, startled at the fast change of pace. He watched the stars and could feel the tears in his eyes. But it made him a little calmer. He hugged the skinnier one closer to himself and buried his face in his neck. It wouldn't be the last time, he promised himself as he let the warmth of Nino soak into his skin.

##

They stayed in the opening till the morning light broke through the sky. They hugged tightly and even when Sho called them and asked where they were – because really, today they would say good-bye to Nino and it wasn't fair if Ohno wouldn't let them – they were reluctant to let go each other.

They did, however, and Ohno had to smile when he saw the others who wished Nino the best and that he should bring presents back.

Nino would. He would bring the most significant present for Ohno if, not if, when he came back to them, to him. He believed and trusted and hoped that Nino would come back.

As he stood there, alone with Nino one more time, he wondered if he should tell the others that Nino was sick, that nobody knew if he could come back. And that he didn't become skinnier and paler for his movie or because of work or lack of sleep.

Maybe he will have to in future, perhaps not. But he believed that he didn't have to. He didn't have to tell them, that no, Nino wouldn't come back to them ever again. He was dead, and there was nothing they could do.

Nino was strong and didn't break promises. So he trusted him and had to smile a sad smile when he heard the last words of the younger one before he was lost in a sea of people. He would wait and when it would be till forever.

_"Above the stars will be where I am. I'll watch over you so... don't be sad. Just listen to my melody till the end, the stars will whisper them every night. It's my lullaby for you. Until I will come back singing it to you again. So don't cry."_


End file.
